Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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