Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
