you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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