just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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