oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
