OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
