So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
