is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
