We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
