you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
