so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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