Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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