I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
