Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
