Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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