Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
