i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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