I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
