Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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