but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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