wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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