I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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