I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Enjoy the penises
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
