A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
