I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
