Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
