What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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