What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
there is glitter all over my balls
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