The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
