WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
