Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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