i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
