too bad you live with your parents still
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
