More tranny stories later!
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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