i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
