Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
