who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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