I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
