Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
