Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
