'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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