She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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