When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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