Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
