Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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