I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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