I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
