you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
