Can Purell be used as lube?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
