which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
