I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
