Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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