just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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